by Michael D. Hargrove Tweet
1) Jim, is it time to put this shopping chore behind you?
2) Okay, Jim, are you ready to own it?
3) Jim, do you want it?
4) Reward yourself, Jim. You’ve earned it, haven’t you?
5) Tell me Jim, have we earned your business now?
6) C’mon Jim. You know you like it, why don’t you just go ahead and do it?
7) Well, Jim, can we wrap it up for you?
8) Yo, Jimbo! Are you an owner?
9) Jim, should you decide to go ahead with this, how would you like your insurance agent to get the new vehicle information?
10) Say, Jim. I forgot to ask, how would you like us to register it for you?
11) Jim, when would you like to take delivery?
12) Now press hard, Jim, you’re going through four copies!
13) Have we earned the right to call you our client?
14) You know Jim, at this point in the proceedings, it’s customary for you, as the customer,… to… say… YES!
15) It’s time, Jim, for you to tell me those three magic little words… I’ll… take… it!
16) By the way, Jim, are you paying cash or should we discuss financing options?
17) If you would please give me your license and registration, we can wrap this up now.
18) You’ve done enough homework, Jim, the only thing left to do now is say YES!
19) Just okay it here and I’ll get it washed for delivery.
20) Are you finally ready to own it now?
21) You know, you could just say YES!
22) Car shopping is hard work, isn’t it? Are you ready to put that behind you?
23) It’s going to sleep at your place tonight, right?
24) Give me the keys, Jim, and I’ll get it filled it up for you now.
25) Haven’t we done enough now to finally call you our customer?
26) Congratulations! (Then hold out our hand for them to shake.)
27) Is that going to be cash, check, or your Sears card?
28) Are we done now, Jim?
29) Have mercy on me, Jim! Haven’t you beat us up enough yet?
30) Isn’t it time to reward yourself for all this effort?
31) Looks like we’ve just bought your car and you’ve bought ours!
32) It’s time now, folks, for you to take action on a decision that, frankly, you’ve already made.
33) So, let’s put this thing to rest, shall we?
34) When would you like to start to use your new car, right away, after I get it washed, or first thing tomorrow morning?
35) Be honest now, Jim, deep inside…99% of you is saying, “YES!”, isn’t it?
36) Jim, look at this pen. No, not me…this pen. I’m confident…that your signature’s in this pen somewhere. Let’s see it.
37) (Simply hand our customer a cardboard box, smile, and be quiet. When they ask us, “What’s this for?” We say,) It’s time to transfer your stuff now. C’mon, Jim, try to keep up.
38) Paper or plastic? (When they look confused, we say) You’re gonna want to transfer your things now.
39) Lean on the pen, Jim.
40) All that’s standing between you and the car of your dreams is …your initials …right here.
41) PLEASE! (If we can tear up this works even better.)
© Copyright 2013 by Michael D. Hargrove and Bottom Line Underwriters, Inc. All rights reserved. Michael D. Hargrove is the founder and president of Bottom Line Underwriters Inc.